Tag: trauma recovery
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The Beginning of Being My Own Wild Self
I think I am at a beginning place. I am hesitant to write this because throughout my life there have been so many times when I thought I was being given a chance to start again, only to find out weeks or months or years later that I had once again believed in something that…
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Life Post Trauma Therapy (cw: csa, rape, trauma, DID)
(and face reveal) On consciously living with mental illness & neurodivergence: “It’s not the same path that everyone else takes, and that can be hard and lonely, but I was reminded that there are amazing things I would never see with normal eyes and other paths.I cried again, but this time out of a small…
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Outer chaos = inner progress
I haven’t written in a while because the trauma recovery work I’ve been engaged in feels so all over the place. I’m finally accepting the fact that I’m barely functioning in the outside world. I can feed my kids and pay my rent but I’ve defaulted on two credit cards and my house is a…
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Switching, new memories and feeling rough around the edges
It’s been a hard week. I went looking for my diploma in the boxes where I keep stuff packed away. I didn’t consciously focus on anything as I dug through photos, old clothes and paperwork. I didn’t find my diploma. And then everything began to fall apart. It started with some massive dissociative episodes, then…
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Memory, Trauma & Alters: walking the tightrope of recovery
My therapist and I have been trying to get an accurate count of my alters, as well as their names and ages. It’s been difficult, to say the least. I know a few of them quite well but there are others who hang back in the shadows. I have a sense that one was born…
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Yoga Journal Day 29
Theme: Be Brave Sometimes when I get on the mat, my mind is set aside and I’m able to abide in my body and just experience. Today is the day after my kids left to go back to their dad’s. I did yoga every day this last week, including a one hour practice with the…
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Yoga Diary Day 23
written November 15, 2020 Got the the mat for day 23 of Adriene’s True journey. The wind is howling today, something which always unsettles me; it’s almost as though the wind could blow my stability away. Thoughts were all over the place this morning and lots of inner dialogue with my alters. Theme: BalanceRight up…
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My experience of Complex PTSD (part 1)
I am a forty-eight year old survivor of incest (and multiple other abuses) with complex PTSD. You probably already know what PTSD is but when you add the complex to that it means that the abuse was prolonged and very likely included more than one perpetrator. When PTSD is complex several symptoms are added to…